It’s 2025. Why Am I Still Explaining This?

There was once a man my father hoped would be a match. I didn’t feel the same, but I played along. During a casual conversation, he laughed and said, “Oh, your daughter loves cats? Then she’s probably one of those crazy cat ladies. I’m not interested.”

That one line said everything... not just about him, but about the narrow roles women are still expected to fit into. He didn’t see kindness or independence... only something to mock.

Men who struggle with women they can’t 'control' often liken them to animals they can’t 'tame'. Cats unsettle them because, like women who live on their own terms, they refuse to be ruled.

I couldn’t help but laugh at the idea that he thought he had the power to 'reject' me. I’d already made my choice. I wasn’t interested in someone who couldn’t look beyond a pet to see the person.

And in that moment, I didn’t feel hurt... I felt clear. I would never choose someone who judged me over something so harmless, without even trying to understand me.

'Crazy cat lady' is no compliment. At 33, because I’m single and don’t have children, I’m already seen as someone who missed the mark. But a man in his late 30s with cats? He’s called gentle, nurturing, and thoughtful. The double standard is plain.

Loving cats isn’t about loneliness. It’s about joy, comfort, and quiet companionship.

When a man loves cats, he’s praised for his emotional depth. But when a woman does the same, she’s pitied. The same affection that makes him seem whole is used to diminish her.

I love cats not to fill a gap, but because I have love to give. They remind me to stay soft in a hard world. If that unsettles someone, I’m glad they walked away.

Still, I wonder... why does a woman’s love for cats bother people so much? Maybe because cats are fiercely independent. And a woman who chooses them is seen the same way. She can’t be boxed in. And that rattles people.

Stay single past 30, and people assume something is wrong. No children? Cue unsolicited advice. Add cats to the picture, and suddenly you're the cautionary tale.

For years, women who love cats have been portrayed as strange, sad, or incomplete... as if choosing animals over a partner is a 'failure'.

Cats and women share something powerful. Both have been called difficult or disobedient just for existing on their own terms. They’ve been misunderstood for centuries because they don’t follow the rules. But it was never really about the cats. It’s always been about the woman.

A woman without a husband or children is still seen as a problem. The cat just becomes the excuse to say it out loud. She’s not replacing love. She’s not settling. She’s simply living a different kind of full, meaningful life.

And here’s the thing: women with dogs aren’t judged the same way. They’re called outgoing, lively, cheerful. “Dog mom” is a compliment. But “cat lady”? That’s the punchline. Why the warmth for one, and the scorn for the other?

I know many brilliant, confident, warm women who adore their cats. They’re living rich, beautiful lives, and they don’t owe anyone an explanation.

It’s 2025. And I’m still tired of defending something so simple: the joy of sharing my home with the animals I love. It’s not strange. It’s not sad. It’s just love. And that should be enough.

Thangamayil, who rescued me.